Posted 26 March 2007 - 2:46 AM
This is obviously far more entertaining for me than for anyone on here, but the following is an abridged version of a list of "you know you're from Winnipeg when....". I tried to pick out the ones that don't require living here to get. (Ones I thought were particularly true and/or funny are bolded.)
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
4. You know of several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
8. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You know all four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
11. You are bundled up in three sweaters, a parka, ski pants, a toque, two
pairs of mittens, boots past your knees in 3 feet of snow in a -35 (-8000 with the wind-chill) blizzard, your eyelashes are frozen together, your nose is running, you can't feel your toes, and you still stop at 7 Eleven for a Slurpee on the way home.
14. You love a cold beer, regardless of whether its -40 or +40 outside.
22. You can always tell who the Americans are at the bar.
23. You know how to properly pronounce Lagimodiere, Disraeli, and Pembina.
28. All directions start with "You take Portage..."
29. The minute it hits 0 degrees, you're in shorts and a t-shirt.
30. Anytime youre in an arena you're compelled to chant "GO JETS GO!".
31. Youre out of province and you get ID'd going into a bar and get made fun of for your 'library card quality' ID.
32. You know what a social is.
33. Mosquitoes don't even phase you anymore.
34. You plug your car in during the winter.
35. You've had one of those hot dogs from the vendors after the bar.
37. You're proud to be Slurpee Capital of Canada.
38. You WERE proud to be murder capital of Canada.
39. If you don't know Randy Bachman or Burton Cummings personally, you know someone who does.
40. You can argue the merits of boiled or fried perogies.
41. You remember the dates of major blizzards and floods.
42. Driving in winter is easier because all the potholes are filled with snow.
43. There are always 4 empty cars running in the parking lot of a beer store at any given time.
44. You know that school is never cancelled even during the worst of blizzards.
45. You understand that everyone is connected to everyone in Winnipeg.
46. You know who Dancing Gabe is.
47. Teemu Selanne = GOD.
49. You're tired of having to switch into the slow lane to drive faster.
51.You've mixed alcohol in your slurpee.
53. Transcona is known as Trashcona.
54. You know that the Blue Bombers suck, but you'll still defend them to the grave.
55. Only you can make fun of Winnipeg.
56. You've seen a buffalo in real life.
57. Everyone is separated by 3 degrees of separation.
58. You can successfully navigate Confusion Corner.
59. You have no problem driving an hour to a party.
60. You try to avoid cabbing to bars at all costs.
61. You've had your car broken into, stolen, or know someone who has.
62. It snows in May, and you don't even flinch.
64. You know what the LC, The OC, and TYC stand for.
65. You are thrilled to drive to the smallest town possible to find the best party ever...
66. You've pondered why there is a 13' golden naked boy standing on top of your legislative building.
68. You are proud to not wear a jacket when you are in another city and it's -1 and everyone else is all bundled up as if the next ice age has arrived.
71. You have devised new and creative ways to kill mosquitoes.
73. You have thought of (and perhaps even tried) new ways to outwit the photo radar systems.
74. Corydon. Patios. Enough said.
76. If you have left Winnipeg for some reason, you have found a clan of prairie folk with whom to chant 'go jets go' when you are drunk and feel empowered.
79. You get a new bike for Christmas, and have to wait 6 months to ride it.
80. You know what the penis bridge is.
83. You tell everyone at home you hate the Peg, but when you leave it's suddenly the best place in the world.
84. You know the number to Pizza Hotline.
85. You know the price of each size of slurpee AND how much it costs to get a refill ($1.12 baby!!).
87. If Dairy Queen is closed from September through May.
89. You don't get to the airport until 1/2 an hour before your flight, yet the airport is so empty that you still get on the plane. With ease.
90. It's early December and you're blown away that the community centres don't have outdoor ice yet.
91. Iif you've worn a wool winter sweater to the bar and totally fit in with everyone else.
92. If you know of at least 10 people that have moved to Calgary.
93. If you refuse to buy a Slurppee from Macs.
94. If you you are apalled by the lack of Slurppee selection (not even to mention the number of Sev's) in other provinces.
95. If you've bragged about being able to drink at 18 to your out of province friends.
99. If you think paying anything more than $3 for a drink is outrageous.
104. If you dream of $9 pitchers at the Pemby.
105. If you actually know that Flin Flon is not a made up town.
106. If you think Winnipeg being featured in the Simpsons was one of the city's best achievements.
109. If you think Global Warming is a total crock...we're still waiting for some changes..
110. If you have ever handled a sandbag.
111. If you know what a "floodway" is.
114. You've wondered who's bright idea it was to make our buses orange, yet you were outraged when they started painting them white.
116. You have gotten your tongue stuck to a pole or zipper.
117. You're "stuck in rushhour" means an extra 5 minutes to your ride home.
118. You walk into an arena in the winter to warm up.
120. You pre-game with a 2-6 before going to the bar...in the parking lot.
121. You have no fears about peeing in random spots outside of bars and clubs.
122. The best tobogganing within city limits is down a hill made from garbage.
126. Its -50C out.. but its also a Friday night...and that sure as hell ain't going to stop you from going out drinking.
128. You're excited for it to be -15 outside.
131. The weather can change from +5 to -50 in the timespan of a week.
133. Your family activities are shovelling the driveway.
134. You get pissed off at the person who cut into your lane while driving and never waved in the review mirror.
136. You refer to men's underwear as "GITCH".
138. The cops stop to let someone j walk in front of them.
140. You know what Folklarama and Folkfest are and go to at least one each summer.
141. You buy a car, and choose the color based on what it looks like covered with slush/snow.
145. When catching you with weed, cops will actually blaze WITH you.
147. Its the only place where at work you know the kid your age, the one old enough to be your mom , and your grandma all smoke pot. 149. You don't ask why there's plugs hanging out of everyone's car.
150. Your car is equipped with a shovel, scraper, mitts, etc..
151. You'd rather freeze outside of a bar than pay for coat check.
152. You call it a bar, not a club.
155. When you brag to your friends in other cities about an underpass.
159. When its not uncommon to see "Man robs 7-11 and flees on bicycle where he was arrested minutes later" on the front page of our newspaper.
162. When the security guards at portage place where SWAT vests.
163. When the two busiest roads, Kenaston and Bishop Grandin, have traffic lights.
164. You're on a drinking team that plays hockey too.
165. You know what a block heater is and what command start is.
166. You brag that at least we?re not Saskatchewan.
167. You don?t stop cursing while trying to drive through downtown.
168. You claim to be part of western Canada.
169. You complain about everything and claim it?s your right, you?re from Winnipeg.
170. You go traveling and are always explaining that we?re not close to Vancouver, Toronto or Montreal.
171. You know how to parallel park on a snowbank.
172. You laugh at Vancouver when the city shuts down because of a light powdering of snow.
176. The gates at the Winnipeg airport are labeled in letters, instead of numbers.
177. The ski hill is a ditch with a chairlift.
178. You brag that at least it?s a DRY cold.
180. You?re surprised and disappointed to find out we didn?t break a record (cold, wind, snow, rain) today.
181. You talk in terms of windchills and humidex factors.
186. You can fall asleep at the wheel on the highway, and wake up two hours later to the same view of fields and barns.
187. You know that Fall isn?t a season. It?s the day between green grass and snowbanks.
192. You dont use turn signals.
195. You've used your ice scraper on the INSIDE of your car window.
197. You know that one street can have 6 names: (Oak Point Highway, Brookside, Route 90, Kenaston, Bishop Grandin, King Edward).
198. Or 8 names: Salter, Isabel, BALMORAL, Colony, Memorial, Osborne, Dunkirk and Dakota. (I live just off of Dakota, FYI.)
201. You're proud that Winnie-the-Pooh is from there.
202. Everytime you hear an NHL team is having financial problems, you immediately start a rumour that team will be moving to Winnipeg.
210. You have been to Gimli and know it is not just a character in Lord of the Rings.
212. Your child goes missing and its not considered an emergency until he/she has been gone for more than 3 or 4 days.
217. You've driven to work looking through a tiny scraped area on your windshield and the rest of your car COVERED in snow.
218. Everywhere you go you see at least one BEAUTIFUL woman.
219. Make-out point is the garbage hill off of Empress.
220. You've gone to the legislative buildings and seen the "purple city".
222. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
223. You plan your outfit in the summer according to how bad the mosquitos are going to be.
226. E-braking and fishtailing become sports during winter.
229. You will drive halfway across the city just to save 7 cents/litre on gas.
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