it's funny how ashcroft actually wrote a decent song on his own also before the chems gave him something to die as a real rock star with.

now the drugs don't work. must find my cd and hear it once.

it'd be quite a change.

and i've got sick of all the juice in this world, i must have consumed 10 litres since friday night here. i'll stick to gum for the time being.

Did I ever tell you guys about this dream I once had, where my entire body was made out of tarot cards, and I was lying there, and someone was shuffleing the cards, and it was like the most erotic feeling in the world...



I was just watching the live in trieste video, and I realized, the chems are like tarot cards



(1.5 pillz, like an 8th of vaporized chronic, 0.5 bottles of champange, and 2... god I don't even know what I'm drinking)

Jim , i fucking love you man X-D

I feel like i'm 99% juice. tropicana. all kinds. n i still can't stop.

that film was so sad. i think i'm gonna bunk monday fourth time in a month straight.

I'm totally buzzed today after i heard that my music hosting site is closing its doors forever!

what electromancer is closing down? 8O



bloody myspace! poor old marv, he was such a good bloke n all.

yeah. Got that in my mail today and was just surprised . . . He wrote he was not able to run his site under this conditions any longer. And he also was a bit upset about the poor acceptance of his platinum upgrade option where you had to pay a small fee. I didn't used it but now i'm regreting it . . .

I liked his work there a lot, good atmosphere with lots of musical potential. Was neither such an effect loaded page nor riddled with the latest hi-tech stuff and i loved that. Too sad, that he decided to give up the business . . .

actually on 3rd of october

http://www.stargazet...04_effects.html

Ow my....that is just scary! Thanks for posting that Iggy , it's intresting to see how a person can change over 10 years time when using Meth!

Oh I've seen that pic before.... pretty sad and fucked up.... I remember reading not too long ago that Fergie from the BEP's was using meth for 5 years or something... no wonder she's redone her whole face }:-)



actually that was pretty mean of me

Ah well , sometimes Bitchy Mode is nice ;-)



I'm sure Fergie is a really nice girl , but i just can't stand they way she dances and acts in video's and in her new own video. She thinks she's black , OR she thinks she's has to sell her body for money. Either way , she annoyes me.

stash and I used to know this guy named who we'll call Ted who was a major tweaker - stash knew him in high school and I knew him working at Tower. He was always super nice to me, called people "sir" and "m'am", and was honestly a nice person who would give the shirt off his back to his friends. His major flaw was that he had an uncontrollable meth habit. He dated a lot of girls who thought they would be the one who could help him. He didn't want to be seen as a charity experiment and he never sought help and he sabotaged any friendship with anyone who reached out to him. So while he was always happy to talk about what he did last night, he would have non of the "trying to save Ted" which he regarded a useless bullshit.



Fast forward a few years and stash and I thought we'd stop by and see Ted since we were in the neighborhood. He came into an inheritance and bought himself a little house in a nice little neighborhood... anyway, we rang the doorbell and we heard what sounded like someone cocking a gun and, "Who's there??" stash said, "It's Jim we just wanted to come by and see how you were." So Ted lets us in and he looks like the walking dead. He was surprised that anyone would actually take the time to see him. He'd turned into a hermit except when he drove out to the shooting range to fire off the many guns he had amassed, illegally. He was practically bald and his skin was pitted and clammy looking. His house smelled like tweak, and although the place wasn't too messy, it just felt like a tweaker's den as if the walls were sweating it. He had just gotten into a fight with his girlfriend who "wanted to help him" and he ranted and raved nonsensical drug induced banter for a good long time about that. His dog was sick and overnighted at the vet's and he'd break out in tearful almost poetic speeches about his poor sick dog. And to pass the time Ted was keeping close tabs on all the surveilance cameras he had installed around the house and making sure his black curtains were closed. Complete meltdown. Oh, and he was smoking tweak and firing one of his rifles with a homemade silencer into a hay bale in his bedroom closet. So the phone rings and the old fashioned answering machine picks up and it's his girlfriend. She's saying something along the lines of "Oh Ted, I'm so sorry about fighting with you, I just want to help you and I love you...." In a flash, he picks up his rifle and blows apart his answering machine, then apologizes for scaring me. At that point, we left. What do you say after something like that? It was one of the most bizarre and pathetic things I've ever seen. Meth is bad, mmkay.

i drank after ages today. damn, 3 drinks i was feelin nice already, n then it suddenly went crash. sad sad alcohol. good for parties, not for quick solo trips, since i gotta sleep n get up for work early. i can't fuckin wait for weekends again! i love this feeling back! the weekends have again become so long. :D

Buzzed update for the past week, as I haven't really been in the posting mood:



Last Thursday: An absolute assault on the liver. Bunch of us hit up a lounge and bought round after round of "team pitchers" (4 litre pitchers of beer). I think we went through around 7 or 8 of them. A couple double Black Russians, pre-and-post-game triple vodkas, etc. I got home around 2:30 AM and wasn't ready to sleep, so I watched movies until 6 AM before finally oozing into bed. Most of the next day was an unpleasant blur.



Sunday: Couple drinks out at karaoke. Nothing too special, just catching up with peeps I haven't seen in a while.



Monday: Went out to the Pal, got in guesties (thank fuck, the lineup never moves there). Was stoked up for a serious night on the piss, but it just never materialized. The vibe was lost, left with a mate and one of my best girl friends (the others stayed, somewhat annoyingly). Shot some pool for a bit, then got a little drunk, ultra stoned and crashed on my mate's couch until it was time to get up, shower, and go to work (8 AM start, yay!). Had been offered pills at the bar, but showed restraint and said no.



Friday: A friend of mine was having a bit of a housewarming party with just a few friends, so a nice quiet evening of beers and watching polygamists on Anderson Cooper. Again, didn't go to sleep when I got home, stayed up until 3:30, despite a 7 AM work start.



Saturday: Piss-up at the Yacht Club. Pre-game with an 8-ounce vodka and orange ("Okay, nobody let me finish this before going to the club! Please!" X-D ) and shotgunning beers. Cheeky couple of spliffs on the club patio. Tequila shots galore. Messy, messy. While buying a hotdog outside of the club after, was hit on by a rather cute girl, who asked for my number. (note to self: do not answer phone this week if you don't recognize the number).



So, that's the story of the last week before school starts. Life is either going to get a lot more boring or a lot more exciting soon. Let's hope it's the latter.

Whirly , that is such a sad story.... :'(

It still makes me laugh. Poor Ted. For my birthday once he wrote my name in meth for me.

iguanapunk Escribi�:

http://www.stargazet...04_effects.html

heh, this is my local news paper. A major east-west highway between NYC and Canada runs through the region. Its a major trafficking point because it exactly half way between the two. There has also been a rash of local hicks cooking up mad quantities of meth in their basement labs. Sudafed is now restricted/banned at the area Wal-Mart.

another just juice mania weekend. second night, so i thought, i'd ask is there a longer version of surface to air? cause it needs to be longer to be more surrender, n very fuckin spacey. especially when played inside a dark bathroom with the hot water kickin in, just one small candle in one corner, the geyser light, n it would be a good idea to accidently have surrender lined right after it on u'r playlist, since it might end n so u might fear u'r whole hot shower in a dark bathroom trip. we're out of control.:)

n peach twirl saves the day, when u step outta the hot shower. a chilled one.