That's a step or two ahead of my plans for the evening, which involve:



a) rent movie

b) fall asleep watching that movie

c) wake up on couch late for work tomorrow morning

We're going to a wedding tomorrow. Open bar, stash is my designated driver, my coworkers are about to find out about my shady past.

If you guys get bored tonight, give me a call. My glint will surely transmit through the phone lines. X-D



*pops a 5-HTP* (Watch, I'll get serotonin syndrome tonight. Yay!)

dude, you can call us, too you know.

True dat, yo!



heh. I didn't even get as adventurous as renting a movie last night. Fell asleep on the couch at 7 PM, woke up at 10:30 to talk to g/f for 10 minutes, went to bed.

Hmmm okay okay i'm going out.

Rave at a boat. Looks sickass .... its an old marine boat.

They say on the website " wear youre oldest clothes. "



nbwahahaha

Jeanie Escribi�:

Hmmm okay okay i'm going out.

Rave at a boat. Looks sickass .... its an old marine boat.

They say on the website " wear youre oldest clothes. "



nbwahahaha

Sounds wicked. We've got a party on a boat tonight here too (the Funk Boat = MS River Rouge), but I'm electing for the 1,000 person-strong Tijuana Yacht Club to ring in 23 years of existence.

both of you, that sounds wicked.



Pics, if posssible, loaded phone calls otherwise.



I got a bit of medical weed, laced with kief, from this guy my stepdad knows. Smoked some last night and watched 'The Descent'.... not the best stoner flick, but a good flick anyway.

toomuch'stash Escribi�:

both of you, that sounds wicked.



Pics, if posssible, loaded phone calls otherwise.



I got a bit of medical weed, laced with kief, from this guy my stepdad knows. Smoked some last night and watched 'The Descent'.... not the best stoner flick, but a good flick anyway.

fuck dude, watched the decent last night. great film but so wouldnt attempt it whilst stoned!!

Thought this was a great read:



http://www.erowid.or.../index.php?p=10

Addicted To Everything



A friend asked me recently why I liked alcohol so much. What did I get from alcohol that made being drunk such a regular pursuit? My initial response took the form of a kind of idealized alcohol trip report: I greatly enjoy the relaxing disinhibition that alcohol can bring, the relative reliability of the alcohol experience, the easy availability of alcohol in quantity. Unlike marijuana?a drug I don?t enjoy?I find that alcohol leaves me with more of my general wits about me during a greater percentage of the experience, while still being inebriating enough to satisfy me. Alcohol just seems suited to my general temperament.



Of course, my relationship to alcohol is more complicated than that. I was essentially straight edge all through high school, then became a bit of a binge drinker in college. After getting turned on to LSD, I went through a short period of viewing alcohol (and all non-psychedelic recreational substances) with a haughty disdain, before realizing that I enjoyed alcohol too much to keep up such an attitude. Still, it wasn?t until my year without psychedelics?a year that coincided with an especially brutal time in my professional life?that alcohol really took on a prominent role in my life.



Now I drink pretty much every evening, a pattern interrupted only by occasional use of psychedelics or other drugs, and even then alcohol is almost always a part of my coming down ritual. I self-identify as an alcoholic, both to myself and to my friends, to help me stay cognizant of just how much I drink and the fact that my life has taken this turn. I tell myself that I?m not a self-destructive alcoholic; I hold down jobs, I stay active in theatre and music and writing, I practice aikido twice a week, I stay involved in my community, I have a healthy marriage. I contrast this with the only other alcoholic I?ve ever known, the stepfather who raised me until I was eleven and who destroyed his marriage and his career by drinking too much. But that?s a rationalization. By any reasonable definition of alcoholism, I likely qualify. Drinks every day?check. Drinks alone?check. Drinks to get hammered?check.



Still, the conversation didn?t stop there, because alcoholism is an incomplete description of what motivates me. I?m certainly an addict, but not simply to alcohol?I?m addicted to altered states of consciousness in general. I?m addicted to being off baseline. I?m addicted to the kind of recreational drug use that respected members of the psychedelic movement look upon with disdain, and I don?t particularly care. This appetite is comprised of equal, and somewhat contradictory, parts hedonism and escapism. Drug use in my life is a way to make the world ?feel better?, while at the same time an attempt to distance me from the world. Psychedelics offer additional psychological benefits, but psychedelic-inspired insight and revelation are happy surprises, not a goal.



I do study with fascination and respect how others in the world incorporate psychedelic use into a spiritual path, but that?s not the road I?m on. I long considered myself a nihilist before recently coming to the conclusion that maybe I?m too happy-go-lucky for that; perhaps I?m more of an existentialist, someone who, as Dictionary.com offers, ?emphasizes the uniqueness and isolation of the individual experience in a hostile or indifferent universe, regards human existence as unexplainable, and stresses freedom of choice and responsibility for the consequences of one?s acts.? I extract joy and pleasure from reality in whatever manner works to help me survive the world, keeping in mind strict personal guidelines about not harming others. Drugs and alcohol are an important part of that formula. There?s a richness to the constant seesaw between sobriety and intoxication that drives me, one that defies authoritarian notions of propriety and restraint.



Alcohol, of course, extracts a darker toll from me than psychedelics. I lose my temper more frequently now, embarrass myself more often now, and perhaps most disturbingly, lose chunks of time from memory much more than I would prefer. I can try to moderate these incidents, but my appetite has difficulty moderating dosage. I know that alcohol is physiologically disastrous at these levels. In fact, my friend initiated this conversation with me in part because his wife had observed me completely obliterated at parties recently with what she perceived to be an alarming frequency. I can?t deny any of it. I can rationalize, try to stay alert, and hope to work within drunken confines to change myself, but hope is a cheap word in a situation like this.



But there?s something I enjoy perhaps too much in the wild abandonment that intoxication provides. It?s a grim kind of celebration, a dance on razor?s edge, which seems an appropriate expression of my personality. The fact is that I do enjoy the experience of life?of being in love, of being an artist, of being drunk and high. Another friend sent me a quote from Baudelaire that expresses my feelings better than I ever thought to:



?One must be forever drunken: that is the sole question of importance. If you would not feel the horrible burden of Time that bruises your shoulders and bends you to the earth, you must be drunken without cease. But how? With wine, with poetry, with virtue, with what you please. But be drunken. And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace, on the green grass by a moat, or in the dull loneliness of your chamber, you should waken up, your intoxication already lessened or gone, ask of the wind, of the wave, of the star, of the bird, of the timepiece; ask of all that flees, all that sighs, all that revolves, all that sings, all that speaks, ask of these the hour; and wind and wave and star and bird and timepiece will answer you: ?It is the hour to be drunken! Lest you be the martyred slaves of Time, intoxicate yourselves, be drunken without cease! With wine, with poetry, with virtue, or with what you will.??



Of course, after years of drug and alcohol use, Baudelaire died at the age of forty-six after suffering a stroke of ?aphasia and hemiplegia?. I refuse to draw the obvious conclusion, mostly for aesthetic reasons.

toomuch'stash Escribi�:

both of you, that sounds wicked.



Pics, if posssible, loaded phone calls otherwise.



I got a bit of medical weed, laced with kief, from this guy my stepdad knows. Smoked some last night and watched 'The Descent'.... not the best stoner flick, but a good flick anyway.

If you guys only would answer youre damn phone!



Bwehehehe. I left a voicemail though.



Doesn't make any fucking sense , my apologies.











Oh i am so bad. Remember i said no more beans till NYE ?! That promise to myself lasted , to be exact , one week.



But man , what a great party , GREAT location ( on a old marine boat whoa! ) Great people , Great Beans.



Unfortunatly....just as i was reaaally buzzing , my mate Ed found out his wallet was stolen. BuzzKill had never been bigger. We went home .... I feel very bad for him. So i walked home , i never enjoyed the morning silence and the empty streets more. It was beautiful!!!



Bad , Bad me. Wish i was still there cause i could dance 2 more hours and the party stops at 8. But it's worse that Ed lost his waller , i shouldn't complain.



Ah well.

You know i was just reading the Japanese Topic about the Space Drink.

And that made me think , u know whats so awesome ?

U know that some of the stars we look at don't even excist anymore , but we still see them because they are sooooo far away that their light reaches us like xxxxx years later ?!



I thought that is pretty awesome. But i also realised that i'm buzzed. Hence the choice of topic to put this random bullshit in.

BAAAAHAHAHA



I just called you guys , Whirly and Stash , on youre cell.

So Linda answers X-D That you guys were at a wedding. I'm so sorry i totally forgot! bwahahaha that was funny X-D

Okay i'll stop trying to talk to people now.

I'm making a mess!

Im back from the wedding and feeling really sloppy. It's all good!

Oh my god, Jeanie!! X-D X-D Walking home, listening to your ipod! X-D Thanks for teh jingle!! Definitely made the sun come out at night. 8)

So Darkstar, havin' pancakes. Mmmmm. Pancakes!



I really need to get some sleep

I didn't want any food, but I was forced to eat a slice of caramel apple pie on the house (we got so much free food for our party of 12 at the restaraunt, b/c we're friends with the waitress).



Wicked night out. Pills weren't fantastic (never really peaked at any point), didn't get drunk, didn't act sleazy at all, but had a really great time and realized how much my group of friends mean to me.



I was so grateful for everyone who came out and made it a special birthday.



Hot-tubbed it up post-game for a bit, and just looked up at the stars and chatted for a bit.



Too many cigarettes, though. Trying to get the synergy going (and it worked to an extent), but must stash them away somewhere and not touch (easier done than said).



Chatted with Mia and Jim for a bit. Great to talk to you guys again. Hope I wasn't too much of an audibly gurning moron. (I was getting the piss taken out of me at the time: "He's together enough to be dialing long-distance calls right now!? Someone get this man a drink!!!" X-D )



Anyways, movie and bed await. Cheers all!

So crispy right now. I can fake my way through this, but at some point today getting < 2 hours of sleep is going to catch up with me. But I'm getting frustrated from tossing the covers and rolling around on the bed. Needed a nice, big spliff or bong hit to put me out, but there was none to be had.



Ah well, do the crime, gotta do the time. Looking forward to having a bunch of family over today....

And Darkstar, my apologies if I wasn't making any sense or was kinda "wraahrr, blah blah". I was quite drunk and sometimes it's a little tough to slur a sentence together!



I'm sorry to hear about Ed's wallet, Jeanie! :( I did enjoy the message you left for me while you were taking the walk home.

are you guys talking about ed as in ed and tom or just some guy named ed?