Right , i'm off to Texas. Moehahahaha.



Seeya'll

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!!

OFFCOURSE I have a delay. Like always.

Fortunatly for me they've got Wi-Fi at the airport so i can work on my forum addiction.



I'm such a nerd.

Jeanie Escribi�:

OFFCOURSE I have a delay. Like always.

Fortunatly for me they've got Wi-Fi at the airport so i can work on my forum addiction.



I'm such a nerd.

You aren't! We all try to get as many post as we could!!! X-D (I'm hard working on it!) :D

See , that's the difference between you and me.

I dont type so much bullshit because i wanna be the NR 1 Poster.

I just have a lot of bullshit in me that has to come out one way or the other....and you , my dear chemical friends , ARE ALL MY VICTEMS NOW MOE HA HA }:-)

Jeanie Escribi�:

See , that's the difference between you and me.

I dont type so much bullshit because i wanna be the NR 1 Poster.

I just have a lot of bullshit in me that has to come out one way or the other....and you , my dear chemical friends , ARE ALL MY VICTEMS NOW MOE HA HA }:-)

I didn't know that you're knowing me??? Hmmm, if i wanted to became the number one poster here, i would have to type my damn fingers bloody! And i need them, really! X-D

you can see this forum as a large self-help group where everybody is allowed to call out it's bullshit, as you can see this bullshit i'm typing in right now . . .

Buzzed posting next, Csar?

X-D

what do you mean? do i sounded buzzed?

If you need to ask.... X-D

hmm, so i have to apologize!

X-D



Csar always sounds kinda buzzed.



Wich , imo , is a good thing.

Jeanie Escribi�:

X-D



Csar always sounds kinda buzzed.



Wich , imo , is a good thing.

Always??? I'm never sounding buzzed! Grrrrrrrrr, wrahwahahahahah, i'm relaxed, I AM RElaxxed!!!! Totally!!!!

Csar Escribi�:

hmm, so i have to apologize!

If I had to apologize for every time I said something while buzzed, I'd never actually have time to GET buzzed.



So no worries, then! :D

yeah, that's the way it is! Just wanted Jeanie to know i don't mind her or whatever she thinks what i could thinking of her or what, ah fuck i should go to bed soon, otherwise i'm losing my head today . . .

Texas sucks so bad... seriously, I'd rather go to Vladivostok.

Really? first I would try to find Mr. Bush's ranch X-D (Somewhere there's a village without it's idiot!)

Csar Escribi�:

yeah, that's the way it is! Just wanted Jeanie to know i don't mind her or whatever she thinks what i could thinking of her or what, ah fuck i should go to bed soon, otherwise i'm losing my head today . . .

Hahahaha , go to bed kiddo !!!

I'm just saying , i'm a big geek for being online at the freaking airport !! Hahahahaa X-D

i had to look twice, but did you say kiddo??? Now i'm buzzed, a little . . .

Texas....Hmz...the job i did there kinda sucked and let me tell you why. Half of the people on that shoot were the fakest people i've ever met. When i sat there in the chair getting my hair done i just wanted to start creaming and i seriously ( And i aint kiddin ) considred getting out of this bussines. This people made me sick.

Dont ask me how i am if you dont give a shit , know what i'm saying. All they were talking 'bout was detox-ing and that u shouldn't eat that cause it's bad for you and BLABLBALA. And they were this typical uber blond brown skin kinda girls. Good lord , i got SO anoyed.\



And tbh - sorry my dear american friends on the board - but most woman i meet here ( In modeling bussines though ) are so fucking fake and i can't stand it. It honestly makes me so sad that i KNOW my bookers are nice to me on the phone but behind my back they are talking about everybody.



So yesterday in the plane home i felt so much better cause i went back to NY and i sait next to this awesome man , a REAL person you know , and we talked about all kinds off cool stuff , and that just made me feel better.



I dont know man , i can't say i am happy now man. I miss being around cool people , i miss going out , i miss the realness of the people i hang out with , i miss people that actually care how i am instead of asking me this cause it's polite. Honestly...i've been at this point 4 or 5 times before and i'm here again. I feel like i wanna get out of this bussines. It aint my kind of people , i can't be around models all day. Most of them are cool , but most of them always talk about the same stuff. Anoying stuff. Yesterday i was looking in the mirror at my job and i felt so...i felt like a fucking barbie first of all , but i didnt look happy you know.



God i have so much dilemma's. I can't just stop. I'm good in this job. It's my future and it brings money on the table and tbh i cannot do much more than this. But i just feel and i know that i belong in a different bussines. Music. I dont care how or where or what for , even if it's working in a small record store somewhere , but i just wanna be in touch with real people.



Argh!! Sorry for my blabla-ing but i am just so frustrated and on top of it all my internet in my temporary appartement broke down !!! So my escape from everything , talking to my friends 'n all , is gone. Now i'll go to internet cafe's.



Good news is that from feb 1st i have an app with my polish roommate. She's nice though but we sleep in the same room and as SHE found it she gets the queens size bed and i sleep on the pull-out sofa. I dont mind though but it's not ideal. It has wifi though and telephone and tv so it's gonna be fine.



Ah well , i just hope i start working good so at least i make money , but i dunno if that's gonna happen...i dunno what i'm gonna do if i dont make money here cause i cant stay here , that's for sure...



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!! :'(