I just got home from vacation, and I definitely feel a sigh of relief!
I just been collecting some thoughts about the positive experiences and points of interest that I almost forgot when I was away. Mostly it was me being with family and taking care of some small business. But midway, I came across some devastating news and was really about to throw in the towel on my vacation, but Ray (my roommate who passed away) would've want me to go and enjoy myself. Ray was my same age! He worked alot, liked to get his drink on, had a cute girlfriend, and cute daughter. Everything was going good for him!
He passed away some hours before I was to see Portishead live in L.A. So many emotions in that venue! At times, I got excited and really pumped up as I was trying to escape reality and enjoy the moment, but alas, I painted myself into a dark corner, and felt hurt from the struggle of coping of someone closest to me (actually a room down the hall in our house)gone and missed!
During the encore of the show, I actually felt that Beth was putting her hand thru my chest and caressing my heart. When she sang 'Roads', I almost wanted to go up the stage and give her a big hug! They finished with 'WCO' with Beth hopping around on stage with endless energy. She also came down stage while the band was still playing and started touching and shaking hands with all the fans that were on the railing from right to left. I was grateful that she shook mine because my arm had to reach over two girls just to get to Beth. The show ended! I continued my vacation.
When I came back from vacay this morning, I went immediately to Ray's room and his door was unlocked! I saw clothes all over the bed as some were folded and some just sitting a pile. His fridge had food still in it and never was touched. His closet had alot of sport coats and dress shoes. I didn't know he was a sharp dresser! He had a movie from blockbuster that he forgot to return and various colognes and deodorants.
I looked all around the room for a moment and said these things to myself...
'That was his bed!'
'These were his clothes!
or the one that hurt me the most...'When is he coming back!'
Later on today, Rays' mother came by and picked up the remains and possessions of his room, put them in trash bags and left in a few minutes. She didn't say a word when she left. The room is now empty....leaving no trace...only memories remain! Ray was a great friend, but also a great father!
Thanx to all for the well wishes!
I'm now finished mourning for him, as he'll be missed, but for now,
it's time to get back on the horse again tomorrow!
It sucks going back to work again, and I know we're going to be super busy when I walk in! November is around the corner! I landed a date this week, and I got to get back to running again (I'm starting to look like a fattie!)
To all the forum peeps....Love is All!