Okay this is totally out of place here but i'f got something om my mind.

I have this friend , she is from Maroc and she lives her all her life but her parents still want her to live a "Moslim" life...she is 19 , but she is not allowed to go out , she's not allowed to have a boyfriend ( Although she has been dating a guy for 2 years now , they dont know ) And she has to be home at 10...she doesn't have any life basicly , she's feeling like SHIT cause off all this , she's smoking a lot of weed to forget about this stuff...



Tonight she thinks she can sneak out of the house..we organised a taxi that i'll pay for , we have this whole plan set up. She is the greatest girl ever and she wants to go out to !!!! I feel so bad that she has to do this...don't you guys think giving your kids a lot of rules and " youc ant do this and that " works in the opposite direction..?!



Anyway , don't know why i posted this here , but i just realise how happy i am with my mum to give me such freedom and that it's sucks for her to have to sneak out of the house .. if she get's caught , she might end up on the streets man. 8O

To be honest if a religion and culture does not allow a young female to live a normal young persons life then its very silly. Alot of religions have stupid tradditions that make no sense in the modern world.

that was such an ignorant post acidchildren. Not everyone is coming from the same side of the world as you are. People are diffrenent and have different customs and cultures. Who are we to decied as to what's "normal" and whats not? I am 19 and my parents are strict. They don't allow me to go clubbing, have a girlfriend, party everyday but does that mean that i say what they tell me too. NO. I still do what i fee like, you just have to be very clever and sneaky about it. My advice to carry on what you guys are doing for her. confronting her parents might not be the right thing to do, yet . She is still young and just needs good friends like you Jeanie.

gosh ther is so much that i want to write on this subject because i am going through this and i have a lot friends who have gone through this trauma and survived.

I don't think enforcing lots of stupid rules like not being allowed to have a girlfriend works at all, especially not after the age of 18 where the government sees the person to be an adult and therefore allowed to get married without permission, go to a strip club, drink alcohol etc.



Very often the rules that were set out are broken and the person/child is the exact opposite of what the parents wanted in the first place.



My parents have always given me a fair bit of independance and I'd consider myself to be a fairly level-headed and well brought up person because of it. Of course, without any rules or boundries set by the parents the person will just be a tearaway with no social skills or regard for society and will either end up in prison or dead.



I think enforcement from parents should get less and less as the child grows older. At 13 they should start giving the child more independance and by 18 should let them be their own person and let them do what they want - provided that they don't come home at 4am, start playing loud music and piss on the stairs.

[quote name="chemicalreaction"]that was such an ignorant post acidchildren. Not everyone is coming from the same side of the world as you are. People are diffrenent and have different customs and cultures. Who are we to decied as to what's "normal" and whats not? I am 19 and my parents are strict. They don't allow me to go clubbing, have a girlfriend, party everyday.[quote]



Yes it was narrow minded but regardless of that its the truth imho! Why have silly rules like that? Explain the logic in it?



Your correct in questioning what is 'normal', who can judge what this is? I think something that is seen to be 'normal' in a certain culture that is not allowing people to act freely and causes problems for them because they can't do what they want is silly. Just because something is written in a religious book or part of a culture does still not make it correct or 'normal'.



I feel sorry for you and her that you are not able to do what you want without worrying about your parents. Im just questioning the logic behind this?

Also the rule of not allowing people to have girlfriends goes against human nature and is EXPRESSLY FORBIDDING the reproductive act - something which no religion approves of.

This kind of thing annoys me. She shouldn't be going out, she should be staying at home cooking the dinner for the family, washing the clothes and beating them dry on the patio. Floors are meant to be shiny and clean so she should be down on all fours scrubbing under her hands blister and tears rolls down her dirty cheeks.



When she goes to bed she should be chained in and the door locked to avoid her being tempted by evil friends that she may have trying to lure her out into the world of satan.

HA HA HA!!!

brilliant!!



you dont wana ask my opinion on the matter. there is SO much wrong with religion. they constantly contradict themselves. If i was that girl i wouldnt just disobey my parents, and my religion, id f'in give it what for, bunch of hypocrytical lard arses thinkin they can say what i can do. go back to you book you twats! we dont need you!!!

The funny thing is some places really do have attitudes like that iggy.

I think it is v difficult. I have a Muslim friend who fell out with his parents over religion. His parents disowned him for a while becuase he would not abide buy there strict rules.



Luckily they sorted out there differences when he went to Uni even though he did leave a double life. Being away he had the freedom to grow in to the person he wanted to be which meant he could hide his frustrations with his parents more easily and toe the right line to keep the peace.



I dont know if this applies but the hardest bit for my friend was understanding that what he wanted to do was not bad or wrong..... and i guess thats were having friends helps.

My parents have threatened to disown me if they i ever decided to not be christian(which im not; good thing they're stupid).

hmm, disregard the random "they"

If your friend is 19, and still chooses to live with her frightfully repressive parents, then there's something wrong with her.



She should move out and live by whatever rules she wants.



Either that or kill her parents.

Glad to see this brought up a good sisccussion, thats kind off what i hoped for.



But ...there something wrong with her cause she still lived with her parents...? where can she go , she is a student , do you have money for nher to pay rent every month?!

Exactly , i didn't think so.

No offense stash , but it's not that easy just to get away form your parent's...if she decides to move out , her parent will probably go insane. this culture's haver very strickt opinions about " putting a family to shame" u know what i mean....?

chemicalreaction Escribi�:

t My advice to carry on what you guys are doing for her. confronting her parents might not be the right thing to do, yet . She is still young and just needs good friends like you Jeanie.

gosh ther is so much that i want to write on this subject because i am going through this and i have a lot friends who have gone through this trauma and survived.

Thank u for saying that...she had a good night ;)



I really realize how lucky i am with my mum and dad. I can go out whenever i want , if i want to smoke a spliff offcourse my mom won't be happy... and the funny thing is , maybe it is just me , but i dont drink ( well sometimes but not out of control ) i dont do drugs and stuff...i am a very brave girl actually...but i am allowed to do it..well allowed is not the good word but my mom isn't strickt about that cause it might work in the opposite way...My mum told me " if u want to try some weed someday , all i want is that u let me know and do it here at home or with your brother " U cant prevent it anyway , so i think this is a very good way of her.



Religion....ah there are so many things u can say about that...but i think first off all everybody has to respect eachothers religion how silly i might seem. Her parents believe in something that thwy think is best for her..u cant blame them. The hear this all there lives , for them this is how they should live their lives...offcourse i see this doesn't work in modern live, but i can understand where they r coming from know what i mean...?

TheFlamingDead_ Escribi�:

My parents have threatened to disown me if they i ever decided to not be christian(which im not; good thing they're stupid).

My dad says he'd disown me if I ever voted for the Conservative party.



On hearing about the death of Dennis Thatcher he said: "We're getting closer!"

religon is a weird topic it is really up the person themselves to chose if they want to keep their heritage etc though they shouldn't be forced to do anything they don't want to and have so freedom. i moved 60 miles to get some independence from my parents

toomuch'stash Escribi�:

If your friend is 19, and still chooses to live with her frightfully repressive parents, then there's something wrong with her.



She should move out and live by whatever rules she wants.



Either that or kill her parents.

But sadly this is quite often the other way around

Jeanie Escribi�:

Glad to see this brought up a good sisccussion, thats kind off what i hoped for.



But ...there something wrong with her cause she still lived with her parents...? where can she go , she is a student , do you have money for nher to pay rent every month?!

Exactly , i didn't think so.

No offense stash , but it's not that easy just to get away form your parent's...if she decides to move out , her parent will probably go insane. this culture's haver very strickt opinions about " putting a family to shame" u know what i mean....?

When I was 18, I moved all the way to the other side of the U.S., from Cali to New York. I didn't have any money, just some friends and my wits.



Who cares if her parents go insane? Like I said, if she cares what her crazy (and yes, I consider Fundamentalist Muslims just as crazy as Fundamentalist Christians) than there's something wrong with her.



Maybe she's so brainwashed she doesn't understand that she has more freedom than she thinks.

Or maybe she has a familly that will track her down if she leaves the house...i'm dont know. But all i'm saying is , these religion take " putting the family on shame" very very serious u know.