why the visuals?



i reckon those 8 pills might have had something to do with it 8O X-D



(mdma is hallucinogenic in high doses - i think 8 counts as high dosage, especially combined with spliffage!)



good work fella, thats some caning ;)

Darkstarexodus Escribi�:

whirlygirl Escribi�:

You were tripping pretty hard... the only times I've ever had mad visuals was when I've smoked loads on the come down and I've been up for hours and hours on end and my body and mind aren't in sync with each other. In your case it could have been anything but my guess would be your body was fatigued but your mind was still racing from the marathon trip from having loads of stuff still coursing through your veins. Who knows (you'd probably know better than anyone, you being the parma major n'all.) Sleep deprivation can make you see funny things.

It was VERY comparable to a mushrooms trip, with closet doors melting and morphing, voices coming from nowhere, patterning everywhere, things coming up from the subconscious (which I found very therapeutic). Freaky but good, and which I tried to extend with pot as long as I could (until about 10:30 PM from 11:30 AM).



Unfortunately I'd been getting a bit too comfortable getting high at home and sure enough my mom could smell it and so I am busted. Dad doesn't know yet and when he does it'll be fun and lollipops. heh. ah well, shit happens and I don't like hiding and being paranoid anyways.



And I definetly appreciate the concern. It was a pretty wild weekend, but really has put me in a good vibe.

I love the visuals from a combination of caning as mipps put it, along with the smoke and sleep deprivation. I'm glad you've got the good vibes going. In the end that's where it counts. It must be good because you're taking the impending doom of the parental unit thing quite well! X-D



You need to make some brownies... of course if you do that, then you stink up the kitchen. Maybe your parents can go out of town for the weekend or something and you can get to baking. Then keep the brownies for safe keeping in the freezer. (do you have a fridge in your basement?) It's nice - no smoky residue, just a nice even brownie buzz that lasts for hours. You've got to get the recipe from stash - he makes a wicked brownie!

Well said Mips. Guess that about sums it up! :D

whirlygirl Escribi�:

It must be good because you're taking the impending doom of the parental unit thing quite well! X-D

Probably because I'm a bit baked at the minute. Figured it would be my last chance possibly for a while at home, so why not? There will be some shit hitting the fan, discussion of my moving out, etc. Hopefully all will be for the best (ie. exactly like it is right now).

Great night out. Three of my friends share b-day's within a few days, so it was out to the clubs tonight. Wicked stuff. Had a blast, remained mentally and physically intact (completely so! I'm so proud! hah!). Feel sorry for the fast-food drive-thru ppl dealing with 9 of us in a jeep at 3 AM! X-D



Dunno really what to do though, sorta getting a little bit involved with the younger sister of my twin best female friends. Nothing has happened yet, but we fell asleep cuddling on their couch tonight before I decided I should go home. Definetly too early for another relationship, but I do like her....... *shrug* Time will tell.



Anyways, wicked night. Cheers all.

I'm on Team-Tim man X-D

I dunno if i could EVER do that in night , but i'm glad you did cause for sure it was fun to read you're trippy nights.

I too have some off that Whirly - Motherly sense in me , but i'm sure you know what you're doing ;-)

Enjoy Life!

After the overindulgence of the weekend before last, I've made a conscious decision to have (mostly) clean living between now and the end of December of exams. Not because of anything bad happening, but more because I got all the craziness out of my system and learned a lot and it's time to crack down on school and the other priorities in my life, for which I've known it's time for quite a while now.



I'm still going to go out lots and have a great time and maybe even get fairly drunk from time to time, but I'm happy and content with not getting completely paralytic. I had a blast clubbing on Saturday and though I had 7-8 drinks, I was still sober at the end of the night. The goal is to go completely illegal-drug-free and to avoid cigarettes and drinking to near-fatal levels until New Years but I'm not making a vow or pledge or anything like that. It's possible I might have the very rare spliff or maybe even a pill if I'm offered, but I am definetly not making phone calls or buying anything until the turn of the year.



I'm sick of being tired and apathetic about school, work, and keeping in shape. It's not the drugs or partying that have kept me down so much as the general fatigue from lack of sleep. Even on just a regular night that involves me staying at home and doing nothing at all, I ususally only get about 4-5 hours of sleep at the most. I've been doing this pretty constantly for about 7 years and have always been able to cope. School is tougher now and I'm tired of looking and feeling like a corpse in class. And mostly tired of underachieving. I could continue to get by, but I'm sick of just "getting by". I also need to lead my indoor soccer team by example, which I can't do if I'm exhausted, out of shape and suffering from smoker's cough. Lifestyle changes are overdue and there's no time like the present.



Didn't mean to turn this post into a long treatise and don't fret, you'll still be hearing about my clubbing and drinking adventures in this thread. I just feel like I've recently made a lot of positive changes in my life and that this is an interesting challenge and another positive step. I refuse to set "rules" for myself and I refuse to become boring and straight-edge, but change is good. It's also begun to grate on me the fact that I've seemingly acquired something of a reputation at school and amongst my friends that, while not without some justification, is probably out of proportion to reality.



(And it'll make it all that much sweeter [and cheaper, probably!] when I do decide to really tie one on.)



Anyways, cheers, I'm off to have a beer!













(Just kidding about the beer. ;-) )

Sometimes I guess it's good to step back a little bit and re-evaluate things and make the necessary adjustments. Glad to read that you're doing this for YOU, Tim and that you are so positive about everything. :D

Yeah, I think the growing reputation was really a big factor in it, too. While I have no problem being very open about my partying and drug use, I think a lot of people were beginning to get the wrong idea about me. At the same time, I can understand why they have that image of me and there's a certain amount of truth to it. I don't like that and it's time to switch it up.



Also, it's a lot of fun getting wasted. And I like pushing boundaries. But sooner or later it's going to catch up with me. To this day I've never had anything I would call a really bad drug experience (except for when they don't work!!! X-D ). Even bad trips or overdoing it can be both fun and instructional, even if it is a little scary at times. But it is only a matter of time before something serious happens and I don't want to do that to the friends and family who care about me. I don't want to get into patterns of abuse, but at the same time I don't want to abstain. Thus, I don't want to get so caught up in it that the only way out is total abstention, like with alcoholics or smack addicts. This is a good time of year, schoolwise, to take a break and get down to studying.



It's also difficult to court the ladies when you're so wasted that you're suffering from "peripheral boner dysfunction". ;-) Haven't had that experience yet and I'd like to keep it that way.

I hear ya about partying catching up to you.



If I go all out, I need a lot longer time to recover nowadays than I did a few years ago.



I didn't do anything other than maybe occasionally drink or smoke until I was out on my own and paying my own way and being responsible for my own actions. A large part of that was that I didn't want my parents to be responsible for me and my young adulthood stupidity X-D - and even though my relationship with my parents was tense and we butted heads and I was utterly terrified of them - I really didn't mean any disrespect nor did I want them to feel disappointed in their daughter (which happened anyway - for other reasons).



While I find the experiences to be fun, I much prefer to look at the experience as a whole "occasion". Too much of a good thing blurs the lines for me. I don't have the mental capacity... Partying all the time blurs those lines. My big thing is being in control or myself. I don't like to be sick and out of commission for days on end, I don't want to be a club casualty, and I like to have enough clarity so that I remember what happened the day after. Besides there are way too many things at stake these days - as how things go the older I get I suppose.

Truer words never spoken.



I still recover pretty fast considering what I put my body through, but I don't want to get to the point where the crime isn't worth the time.



Last Saturday night was amazing, but it was also a kaleidoscopic blur. Things turned out really well and it was a blast, but once I found out that my friends left at 1:30 AM and I stayed on to 4 AM and then went to a rave afterwards, it was a bit of a wakeup call when I realized the significance.



I don't mind doing drugs on my own as I generally know dosages and what I can handle and keep myself on the moderate end of things. I don't mind pushing my boundaries and finding synergies and getting truly mashed if I've got friends around to keep a little bit of an eye on me (a certain Saturday night post-Avalon rings a bell). [Likewise, I always keep closely in touch with how my friends are doing when they're mashed.] But I was by myself AND pushing boundaries and the night could have ended poorly.



Possibly only the second time I've ever been unsafe like that. [The first was after a night of a LOT of drinking with friends I came home and took five oxycodone and had a few more drinks while watching movies. While I was with it enough to assess a safe but very euphoric oxycodone dosage, I was out of it enough to forget about the Tylenol content. I was so sick the next day I genuinely was worried about acetaminophen poisoning. To top it off, my parents were out of town for the week and I was alone. I never posted that night in this thread, perhaps the only incident I haven't.]



And I just remembered that I never updated about my parents busting me getting high in the basement. They were quite upset both that I was getting high and that I was doing it in the house (thereby potentially stinking up the place). I conceded that I was in the wrong for doing it in the house but refused to admit that getting high is wrong. [They've long known my stance on marijuana legalisation.] Things were pretty tense for a day or two, but life is back to normal and I think they accept tentatively where I'm coming from, even if they are still in total disagreement/bewilderment. I finished the last of the weed I had remaining a couple days after and made my decision to take a break.



I was very surprised they didn't ask about other drugs. I think I probably would have told them (mostly) the truth, but I'm glad I didn't have to.

Dude, that's absolutely crazy. When it comes to parents and drugs, you should never, ever tell the truth. Deny it to your grave.



Parents NEVER want to believe that their kids take drugs, and they will always believe a lie, no matter how outrageous, rather than face the truth.



personally, on the whole getting wasted thingy, I like being wasted, I like having a reputation for being wasted, and I enjoy seeing exactly how impaired I can get and still function in the world. It's a mark of how superior I am in general that I can coast through life with about 5% functionality. Mark of personal pride.



I was wasted as fuck and up until about 7am saturday morning, but I still managed to call into work, since I was on call.. they didn't need me to come in, but if I'd had to, I could have put in 8 hours.

I have a fantastic relationship with my parents and I think they wouldn't have believed me if I'd lied, even though I am a very good liar. I think, ultimately, it would be better to say "yeah, I tried coke and I don't plan on doing it again and I don't mind the odd pill but I won't try meth if my life depended on it" than make an obvious lie.



I told my mom five years ago the extent to which I was stoned in high school and told her (truthfully at the time) that I wasn't doing it anymore, that it had gotten boring and stale. The discussion was calm and rational and she said "yeah, I had a pretty good idea you were doing that".

toomuch'stash Escribi�:

personally, on the whole getting wasted thingy, I like being wasted, I like having a reputation for being wasted, and I enjoy seeing exactly how impaired I can get and still function in the world. It's a mark of how superior I am in general that I can coast through life with about 5% functionality. Mark of personal pride.

This has always been exactly my attitude on the subject too and since I've acquired some rather great stories and have no problem telling them to anyone interested enough to listen. But with my peer-set (ie. classmates) and friends largely changing over the past year or so, many of them don't know any other side to me. The getting wasted and pushing boundaries and still showing up functional for work/school side of me is nothing I'm ashamed of, I just don't want it to be the only thing I'm known for. Especially considering I'm entering a very tight-knit profession where my activities could get me in a spot of trouble. [School is also really tough these days and I'm sick of getting B's and C+'s in courses that should be easy A's. I should be near the top of my class instead of in the middle. Too much work, lack of sleep and lack of any discernable study ethic are probably more responsible than anything else though.]

X-D I suppose that's the yin and yang of stash and whirly. I have a completely different attitude, a different mindset when it comes to getting loaded. If we're talking pride, for me it's not how I can get by on limited brain capacity but my pride is in being in control and knowing what gets me off while keeping my limits in check. And I was never good at being hung over when there were priorities looming on the near horizon. I hate that.



But yeah, Friday night through 7am Sat. morning was fun, it was a nice escape and I was comfortable... especially since I didn't have anything pressing all day Saturday and the kid was with his auntie and uncle.



Darkstar you are so lucky you have such a strong and open relationship with your parents. That is something I wish I had then and wish I could have now. There are some things my folks don't want to know, and I will never be up front with them about my escapades either. They haven't asked (except for the incense thingie) I haven't lied but I haven't been forthcoming either. My parents are a completely different and alien generation, they were teenagers in the 50's, were married in 61 and by the time the year of aquarius came and went they were well into parenthood. Drugs are not something they've ever understood nor have they ever shown an interest in having drug talks with me either. Which is fair enough and fiiiiiiiiiiiiine with me. Frankly at my age it's not their business to them anymore than when I have sex with my husband. Now there's a disturbing thought... eh... eww.



Now that I am the parent, my time will come when we need to have "the talk" (and no, I don't mean about the birds and the bees, hahah)

My parents are VEHEMENTLY anti-drug, but their approach with me since I was young has always been to explain the consequences of my actions and why I shouldn't do what I'm doing, rather than to punish me. For the most part, it works.



They say they genuinely can't understand why I (or anyone) would want to alter their consciousness. They don't really drink hardly ever, either. But they also know they can't stop me from doing things I want to do, they can only offer the best advice they can and hope that I make good decisions.

toomuch'stash Escribi�:

Dude, that's absolutely crazy. When it comes to parents and drugs, you should never, ever tell the truth. Deny it to your grave.



Parents NEVER want to believe that their kids take drugs, and they will always believe a lie, no matter how outrageous, rather than face the truth.

That is so not true dude. It really depends on you're parents. Basicly ,you're saying that parents are naive . Well , my mom knows exactly whats going on. My brother used to use A LOT of drugs for a while , and my mum knew what was going on sooner than anybody else. She tried talking to him - but my brother was the one that was in denial , not my mom.



I have an awesome relationship with my parents and i can talk to them about everything. And altough i'm not gonna tell them "hey mum ! Yeah i had a great night i did some E "If she would ask me if i ever did it , it would never lie. i know she would hate it , but I think a good relationship with , well , anybody really , has a lot to do with being honest and being able to tell the truth.



Maybe i'm lukcy with my parents.

i am fuckinmg tipsy

and i am still going to see erol alkan

BAHAHAHAHA\

Well, a very nice evening. Making 1.5x my regular wage today because it's Rememberance Day. Worked my ass off during the afternoon, but once evening set, I spent most of my time wandering the store and deciding what kind of cheese would go well with the wine I decided I was going to drink tonight.



I settled on some Cave Aged Gruyere, a little Oka, and some English Stilton to go along with my beautiful bottle of Spanish Rioja (2002 Monticello). The wine was delicious and although I supplied all the cheese for our little wine and cheese party I wasn't disappointed. After polishing off that bottle and enjoying the social setting I'm feeling pretty good. I'm back at my place, it's 3 AM and I've mixed an extra-strong (4 ounces or so) Powerade and white rum. If I actually finish this I expect I'll be pretty bombed. Working at 10 AM kinda sucks. But I'll survive.



Going to go watch Kill Bill Part 2, if I can stay awake long enough. Went to sleep a little after 5 AM last night. Doubt I'll be able to stay up that late tonight. I think I'll fall asleep very shortly after I put the movie on.



I was craving a cigarette hard tonight when my friend Kevin went out for one, but I was able to maintain willpower: no cigarettes, no illegal drugs, no getting too ridiculously drunk. And no making phone calls for late night poon.

Yup. Fell asleep inside five minutes. Didn't even get more than half-done the drink. heh.

Just watched a very good documentary on Ecstasy, called Ecstasy Rising by Peter Jennings of ABC News. Contained no information I didn't already know about the drug itself or its history, but it was a well-researched, balanced look at its origins, rediscovery, spread, and the fight against it by the American government. 45 minutes long.



If you're interested, click the link below.



http://video.google....50131&q=ecstasy

haha, i don't believe i had to scroll down almost the whole index to find this thread! :)

while i've been doin my buzzed rantin everywhere, i think the freestylers are one of the best new music i've found in a while now. the fabriclive kicks ass tonight!